I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
