I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
