return my video game
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
