I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize