Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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