I'm eating all of the evidence.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
