She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
