I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
