I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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