Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
