He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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