Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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