i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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