if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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