i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
