Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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