in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
