he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize