Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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