She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
