her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
