All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
