I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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