sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
