all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
