I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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