I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
please come you make the beer taste better
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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