She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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