Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
