Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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