Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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