So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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