with your own penis?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize