How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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