so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
