remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize