Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
