The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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