Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize