it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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