why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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