wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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