I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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