please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
