i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
