new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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