Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
