his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize