i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize