we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How does one acquire holy water?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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