Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
