A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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