Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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