margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
