i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
