I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
