oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
