I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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