Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize