Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
