I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
