im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
