i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
tell me about the eggs
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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