I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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