I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
