so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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