doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have demons in me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
