I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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